A few months ago, I was talking to this guy. A typical guy's guy who watches football to compensate for his metrosexuality. I drove 2 hours north for a weekend visit and tried my damnedest not to have expectations. He's not great at communicating and I have a fear of confrontation, hence why we never discussed our intentions.
I have spent the past few years of my single life trying to harden my own soul. I find myself becoming more and more detached and impassive, rather than welcoming a full spectrum of emotions. And lately, I have been asking myself why? Why are women sacrificing the most beautiful part about being female?
Your actions roll out like a 35mm film, sputtering a black and white romance. You are the perfect protagonist to a story of amour. However, these glamorous scenes are silent for the viewers and when words are added, your grand facade begins to fade. Your sweet affections are coupled with doubting discourse.
You allowed someone into your private little world of feelings. You opened the door and let them walk right into your heart. You loved and you trusted. You allowed yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions and you felt them all so deeply. You were consumed by these feelings.
I know how hard it is to be without a significant other. Being single can be alienating, lonely and discouraging. However, it doesn't always have to be this depressing. With a change in perspective, your time as a single can be empowering and insightful.
I remember watching Cinderella when I was a little girl and admired the beautiful girl swept off her feet with the help of a little magic and some killer shoes. I dreamed of wearing a ball gown and meeting my Prince Charming. He would be handsome, romantic, and-well, naturally-charming.
Sometimes, grief is just as strong when those you loved and lost are still alive. It is natural for people to drift apart. Whether from distance, time, or a change in ideologies. However, when you are cut out of someone's life and given no explanation, a whole new form of loss develops.
Most women will tell you they abide by the "girl code". You know, the code of moral guidelines that assure friends-forever status? There are many unspoken agreements, but the most commonly broken rule is chicks before dicks. Sure, it all sounds good as shared by two single girls over a glass of wine.
As a single girl living in Boston, I am cursed (or gifted, depending on your perspective) with the pressure of finding a companion. I bought a cat to help fight the lonely blues, but he is only good for the cuddling.