Benjamin Franklin spoke the truth in that the only two things known to be certain in this world are death and taxes. I am starting to develop my own theory involving a third, familiar experience. Consider it the millennial angle to a historical idea.
A known reality that everyone has endured is that people are going to disappoint you. People are going to hurt you. People are going to betray you. People, for the rest of your existence, will put strain on your happiness. Sorry Benny, but this is just as inevitable as Uncle Sam’s demands and my own demise.
I am not going to use this platform to gripe about all the people who have done me wrong. Instead, I simply am going to lay out the unfortunate, but necessary truth. Every time you meet someone new or rekindle old affections, you run the risk of psychological trauma. People are inherently selfish, so finding human beings who won’t abuse your vulnerability proves to be a difficult quest. No one is immune to anguish. This is unless you have dug a hole so deep inside yourself as to avoid human emotions all together. However, living an impassive life is not recommended.
Personally, what helps me accept this harsh truth is the “I’ll be fine” motto. Because I will.
No matter what the dating world throws at me, I will indeed be okay.
Now just isn’t our time. Maybe in the future things will work out . . .
I’m just not feeling it anymore. It’s not working.
I have too much on my plate right now; I can’t commit.
I warned you that I didn’t want anything serious.
That’s okay. I get it. I’ll be fine.
No sarcasm. No resentment. Just a simple sentence to cut ties and move on. I’ll be fine.
Now don’t get me wrong, circumstances are not always this simple. I certainly am guilty of over-analyzing, desperate for an explanation. I also have the tendency to play the blame game in hopes of finding a source of my anxiety. It is easy to obsess and waste away months of your life seeking closure. However, sometimes these actions are just that: a waste. A waste of your valuable and limited time. Especially, when there simply are no answers to your existential questions. You may never understand why people do shitty things. Nevertheless, what you can focus on is understanding that people will, indeed, always do shitty things. And that my friends, is a fact.
But I promise you, you will be fine. Cry when you need to. Scream when you need to. Talk to your best friend, your mom, your dog. Do whatever you need to do. In the end, you will withstand all the shitty things that people say and do to you. And every time you find yourself saying “I’ll be fine”, you gain a little more insight. Each and every individual in your life teaches you something about yourself. But as long as you keep belting out Aretha’s 1978 jam every day and believing that you will survive, nothing and no one can hinder your happiness.